Destrage The King Is Fat ‘n’ Old

by Trevor Portz
Staff Writer

It will be surprising if any subsequent album reviewed this year will be as amazing as The King is Fat ‘n’ Old.

Sure, this could be a song-by-song breakdown review, but that just seems unnecessary. Instead, here are a few things you’ll find on The King Is Fat ‘n’ Old: hyperspeed riffing, rock grooves, dynamic harsh vocals, Vai-level solos, danceable beats, catchy choruses, Devin Townsend-esque clean vocals, tons of time changes, great melodies, blast beats, ridiculous double-bass drum speed, and Family Guy samples. Oh, and something that could only be described as blues-grind (in closer “Wayout.”) It’s got everything from Queensryche to the Dillinger Escape Plan, all blended into a chaotic ball of awesomeness. What more could you want?

Essentially, what we have here is a band of sickeningly talented musicians mixing up everything they like and then making it faster and more technical. Sure, not all great albums are nearly this technical and over the top, but then again, neither are most great musicians. Greatness comes in many forms, and in this case it’s all about speed and precision.

Okay, so surely there’s something less than fantastic about this record, right? Well, “Neverending Mary” is a wee-bit derivative and feels like an attempt to capitalize on the current pop/metalcore trend. But hey, we’ve all got to pay the bills, and maybe this is just their attempt at commercial success. It could certainly be a lot worse… Plus, it’d be nice to see any popular metalcore band attempt to play any other song on the album. The result would be a sort of metal version of the “Worst of American Idol.”

So if you’re looking for something to lift you out of the post-holiday doldrums, buy yourself a copy of The King Is Fat ‘n’ Old on CD. Yes, CD. Sure, it’s fashionable and easy to go for mp3s, but come on, we all know that for the complete experience—artwork, liner notes, uncompressed data—CD (or even vinyl) is the only way to go. Then again, with an album this strong, it’s doubtful even a bit of compression could take it down.

Genre: Hypergrind?

Band:
Federico Paulovich (d)
Matteo Di Gioia (g)
Ralph Salati (g)
Gabriel Pignata (b)
Paolo Colavolpe (v)
Track Listing:
1. Double Yeah
2. Twice the Price
3. Jade’s Place
4. Neverending Mary
5. Back Door Epoque
6. Smell You Later Fishy Bitch
7. Collateral Pleasure
8. Home Made Chili Delicious Italian Beef
9. Tip of the Day
10. Panda vs Koala
11. Wayout

Label: Coroner Records

Website: http://www.destrage.com/

Hardrock Haven rating: 9.8/10

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