Juliet’s Vice | d.g.a.f.
by by Mark Allen
Looking for the perfect after-dinner music to put your girl in the mood for several long hours of slow, sensual, passionate romance between freshly-laundered satin sheets? Well, you might want to think about some Michel Bolton, because the only girls who are going to get turned on by what Juliet’s Vice is cranking out are the nasty chicks who like it rough and sleazy. Some rock bands are all about sipping fine wine and making love; Juliet’s Vice is all about slugging cheap whiskey and doggy-styling behind a dumpster in some dark alley.
Taking their cues from Appetite-era Guns ‘N Roses, this Philly-based band is propelled along on the strength of some powerful guitars that punch out one dirty riff after another. The dick-waving debauchery is perfectly complemented by those greasy guitar grooves to create an appealing sleaze-rock aesthetic which is further complemented by a production style that eschews modern day gloss in favor of old-school grit.
In fact, Juliet’s Vice wants modern influence in their music about as much as an anal-specializing porn queen wants a prolapsed rectum. They play things straight, total throwbacks to the lean, mean ‘80s, sporting a rebellious, devil-be-damned vibe that is sorely lacking among today’s corporate-crafted rock groups. Raw recklessness once defined the hard rock/metal scene and Juliet’s Vice sports it in spades. Think Vains of Jenna meets Guns ‘N Roses meets Ratt but a little rougher around the edges.
The band takes you on a swift, raunchy, profanity-spewing rampage of decadence orchestrated by musicians good enough to deserve better than indie status. Worse acts than this are signed every day, so why hasn’t some label (Demon Doll Records comes to mind) snatched these guys up? The band has skill to spare and while they might not blow your skirt up with their prowess, neither will they cause you to roll your eyes and make gagging noises, and that’s saying something within a genre that by its very nature permits a certain amount of sloppiness from its players. But the members of Juliet’s Vice are not interested in sloppy…unless we’re talking sloppy seconds.
Highlights include “Lost Little Angel” which sees the bass and drums locked together in perfect tandem to lay down a head-banging rhythm and one of the best chorus hooks on the album. “Good 4 Nothin’” is the kind of catchy rock ditty that bands have been tossing out since time immemorial, but that’s because they’re full of infectious fun and this one sports a guitar riff so good you would have to hammer nails through your feet to keep them from moving. “Concrete Jungle” borrows the riff from Gun ‘N Roses’ “Think About You” for the verse, but avoids blatant larceny by switching up the chorus. And the title track, “d.g.a.f.” perfectly sums up the band’s fist-in-your-face attitude with a chorus that snarls, “I don’t give a damn about you / I don’t give a shit / I don’t give a fuck about you anymore.” That’s sleaze-metal poetry right there, folks.
Juliet’s Vice is on a mission to remind us of a time when the rock ‘n’ roll realm was defined by bad things: bad attitude, bad boys, bad words, bad behavior…you get the idea. Mainstream, mass market modern rock bands may pretentiously sing with faux toughness about kicking ass, but these hard-charging hell-raisers sound like they actually would whip your ass seven ways from Sunday for the cost of a six-pack and a carton of unfiltered cigarettes. Juliet’s Vice probably d.g.a.f. if you like their music or not, but if you’re a fan of raw, sleazy retro-rock, then you should definitely g.a.f. about them.
Genre: Hard Rock / Sleaze
Dan Parsels (lead vocals, backing vocals, lead guitar)
Damian MonteCarlo (lead vocals, backing vocals, guitar)
Joe Mal (bass)
Nicolino Maiellano (drums, backing vocals)
1. Never Gonna Change
2. So High, So Low
3. Subliminal Seduction
4. Lost Little Angel
5. Good 4 Nothin’
6. Concrete Jungle
8. Live Like There’s No Tomorrow
Hardrock Haven rating: 7/10