Tankard Thirst
by Derric Miller
Staff Writer
People often minimize the dedication it takes to be a raging alcoholic. Furthermore, they castigate those who are committed to alcoholism WHILE being a functional member of society. To choose to make yourself ill on a daily basis, to irreverently abuse your liver and to, by choice, make a lifetime of memories you will never remember takes will power that few people are born with. That’s what makes Tankard so honorable. Even after 25 years of bludgeoning their bodies with beer, they are still cranking out some of the highest quality Thrash on the planet, and they do so again with their new release, Thirst.
Thirst begins with “Octane Warriors,” and the guitar lead is reminiscent of Slayer when they get slow and eerie. Gerre’s vocals, both guttural and almost melodic, continue to be one of the most accessible in Thrash. The song bloats from fast to frenetic, with Olaf drumming with devastating explosions. The song is part Thrash, sometimes almost NWOBHM, and part M.O.D. Whatever the hell it is, it’s awesome.
The band released a video for the song “Stay Thirsty,” and it’s one of the funniest videos created in the past few years. If you want to take a lesson in writing a Thrash anthem, then listen closely to the chorus: “Stay Thirsty, Stay Thirsty, that’s what life’s all about! No fighting, no burning, we drink our second round!”
Not all of the songs are specifically about beer and alcohol, though, like “Echoes of Fear.” As Tankard is wont to do, of course they work alcohol into the story, but this tale is actually about how mankind is typically unwilling to help his fellow man. The main character is so self-involved, he sees people in need of help, but decides not to help him. For his efforts, he falls asleep with a cigarette in his mouth, the house starts on fire, and his neighbors aren’t all that eager to call the fire department … so he fries. This is a pretty “mature” effort for these drunkards.
“Myevilfart” is exactly the kind of track you expect from Tankard, though. Just when you fear the band will take themselves somewhat seriously, they lay these kinds of lyrics on you: “I went to pee, and pass some gas. My rectum is evil …” This, of course, leads into the chorus of “My evil fart.” They even refer to the flatulence as “burning flame of power.” That takes “waxing poetic” to a completely new stratosphere. The thing that almost becomes secondary during these songs, but shouldn’t, is the musicianship. No, this isn’t as technical as Megadeth, but guitarist Andy lays into both a melodic and furious lead that completely fits the scheme of the song. It may be odd telling people your new favorite song is “Myevilfart,” but the truth shall set you free.
Thirst closes with the goofy “Sexy Feet Under.” It’s probably the heaviest song on the CD, just a raging rhythm from Olaf and bassist Frank. The funniest part is that they are not doing a play on words of “six feet under.” No, instead, it’s a foot-fetish song. How they deliver lyrics like, “Under your feet, I’m licking your toes, I’m kissing your shoes,” without guffawing is a testament to their professionalism … or the amount they drink when writing music.
Tankard is just an excellent band that has been bearing the Thrash/Alcoholic torch for over 25 years. You can’t say this about 99.9 percent of the bands out there today, but Tankard sounds like no one else. You have to give them props for keeping their sense of humor and coupling that with high quality Thrash every time they release a new studio album.
Label: AFM Records
Track listing:
Octane Warriors
Deposit Pirate
Stay Thirsty!
Hyperthermia
Echoes Of Fear
When Daddy Comes To Play
Zodiac Man
G.A.L.O.W.
Myevilfart
Sexy Feet Under
HRH Rating: 8/10